Sober Curious woman

REMINDER: Wine is not self-care

I recently have been re-watching the TV show Modern Family with my daughter. I haven't seen the show in years and forgot how funny it was. However, I notice how much Claire, one of the main moms, seeks refuge in a glass of wine when she's stressed out about her crazy kids.


One of the most pervasive messages we face as mothers is that wine is a form of self-care. If we had a long day with the children, we deserve a glass of wine. If the kids are being loud and obnoxious we can use that wine to drown them out. The message comes to us everywhere- including here, all over social media. And we sure as heck saw a ton of it during the pandemic- wine was offered as the solution to having to be captive to homeschooling.


What TV shows and social media, and even our own mom friends don't tell us is how they are feeling after glass number three. Clare Dumphy doesn't get shown waking up with a fuzzy head and cursing the school run.


After the initial dopamine hit that wine gives us, what happens next for you? For me, it meant a bad night's sleep, no energy the next day, and feeling guilty for not being able to control the amount I was drinking. I had to ask myself-


Is that glass of wine self-care or self-sabatoge?


Are you able to look at the brief relief you may get from a glass of wine with perspective, and see into the night and the next day?


Are you able to see that the problem that you were trying to numb out from, the noisy kids, the overbearing boss, will still be there in the morning?


The first step to addressing your relationship with alcohol is to ask yourself these questions. Next time you see this messaging, and I promise you will, ask yourself is the wine really a form of self-care?


Does wine really make you feel better, overall? Is it contributing to your health and happiness? Your relationships? 👇🏻